or.. Peter Firth, why are you so fucking sexy in a *very* 80s white/black turtleneck?

It was an ok movie. I remember it from years back. Its a space vampire movie based on an interesting premise.

PETER FIRTH WAS NEEDING A DAMN GOOD HUMPING. I volunteer.

Patrick Stewart was in it. He... had more hair. *gigglesnort*  He was still very wooden and thespian, though, even when acting under the influence of sodium pentathol and an alien woman possessing him. Hee.

Otherwise... meh.

Not as good as I remember it being. I think the Matrix made it look like shit not too many years later, frankly,

Ooh, a fat whopping 320g in his head - i have more storage in my PC...

I loved his rant about wanting room service and the club sandwich, though. Funny.

I liked the idea of women bodyguards - good idea. Sort of reverse logic, but also still quite misogynistic as the men were so important that the women filled their bodies with implants to protect them...

I also liked Henry Rollins in this. A lot.  I like his patch of grey hair - I have one of those, same spot on my skull too. Strange.

That's about it. Cyberpunk doesn't do much for me, but as it was pre-Matrix, it was kindof nostalgic.

Ignition - that was baaaaaaad. It wanted to be Tom Clancy + a Bruce Willis film, but man oh man did it miss the mark. I had to check other film reviews to make sure i wasn't the only one who thought it was a total turkey...

The plot was so overstretched and convoluted I had a hard time keeping up with the bad guys and twists/turns but the kill the president stuff thrown in, and the rocket to the moon? Eh? Trying to do ten thriller films in one on 1/100th the budget, are we?

Man, that was shit. And Bill was out of his element trying to play a physical hard man like Bruce Willis. He didn't look like a Conor either - he's looked like a Jack, like a Peter, etc, when the part called for it, but that name was really waaay irish sounding, and way wrong for him. 

The guy who played the bad guys' muscle was familiar for some reason, and very freaky looking. Aha, checking the credits, his name is Peter Kent. What a really weird looking UGLY guy. I can't imagine acting next to him and keeping my lines straight, eeww. I'm sure i've seen him in Stargate, somewhere. Icky.

But, Bill was sexy, always so. And i enjoyed the taser + heroin scene, oh yes. *gasm*  And it was hilarious when he shot the washing machine - i laughed.

I wish he'd stop dying his hair, though - no one can have that many wrinkles and look 50ish, but have no grey hair. He needs to be honest about how old he is, and embrace it. He'd be so much more beautiful if he did.

SIBLING RIVALRY - funny. Bill was hysterical as Nick, the inept bloke working in the blinds business, with the brain of a child but so amazingly empathic. It was good stuff. Kirstie and Bill had chemistry, i kept expecting them to end up in liplock.

THE FAVOR - Okay. Bill was *dead* sexy as the husband Peter Whiting. OMG.

But Brad Pitt? I just don't get what people see in him. He's a 'hunky stud' in this movie, but uh, his ears are too small, they look microscopic, like they belong to someone else, a child maybe. His nostrils are the wrong shape, they look like triangles or something. His lips are too fat especially the bottom one and while his body is 'nice,' like women supposedly like with a 6 pack and stuff, I found Bill to be 10000000000000000x sexier.  Especially while Bill was playing his harmonica and dancing, oh god yes.

I will have good dreams tonight. In fact, i think i need a cold shower. He's incredibly attractive, especially when he's the good husband going out to fight to get his wife back. *fangirlgasm*

IGNITION is on the way.

Lovefilm, I ♥ you. Okay, my free trial expires on the 28th, but i intend to rent everything I can while its still free, yes.

A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN - quite a good movie. Bill had a tiny role, but i loved every minute of it. I was totally feeling the baseball vibe because I used to play softball for my high school and my university. Sometimes i miss it dreadfully, living here in the Land of Cricket.

THE END OF VIOLENCE -  can't remember if i reviewed that one before, but i watched again, yes. Lovely Bill. Movie was a bit shit, but Bill was yum. Not so sure about Gabriel Byrne, used to have a mini-crush on him but hmm. Doesn't do it for me any more.

LUCKY NUMBERS - he played a hilariously stupid and inept cop, who had deadly aim. Twas kindof funny. Travolta was Travolta, doesn't do a thing for me, not one jot. Bill, otoh, was yum, even as an aging cop.

YOU KILL ME - the aging Sir really bloody old Ben Kingsley doesn't do anything for me either. This was a kindof boring movie. Bill was an old whacko in big acetate glasses frames, but i loved him. Hence my Old Geek icon.

Lovefilm are sending me THE GUILTY and LIEBESTRAUM - expect reviewsies soon :)

THE GRUDGE - okay movie. He jumps off the balcony in the beginning after looking quite sexy out of bed first thing in the morning. SMG does well, i guess, but her movie career isnt exactly blossoming after Buffy, is it?

SCARY MOVIE 4 - okay, hilarious takeoff on the Grudge, War of the Worlds, and more. Leslie Nielson naked? OMG. Charlie Sheen jumping over the balcony with the biggest woodie in the world? Hysterical. OMG. I was in tears laughing at several points. Bill's village? OMG. I is ded of the laughs.

SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE - Bill was the cutest allergic boyfriend in the world. Adorkable. I would have married him in an instant, yes. Otherwise, I don't like Tom Hanks so I fast forwarded a lot. Meh.

WYATT EARP - I only watched part 1 because it was long, dull, and Bill died in part one as Ed Masterson, shot to death being the gentle lawman that he was. Good, but slow and a bit dull. I thought Dennis Quaid as Doc Holliday was *superb* though.

ALIEN AUTOPSY - stupid film with Ant and Dec, though i love hearing those Geordies talk. I ffwed to the Bill parts, all like 2 of them, and took a few screencaps before ditching it entirely. Bill's adorable with stubble, even if it is going grey - adds a distinguished look to him. Yum.

29 PALMS - again, only watched the Bill part, the rest was uninteresting. Bill was an utterly adorkable ticket clerk at a bus station. I will be iconning his nerdiness.


I really do have a life outside watching movies (though i've taken it easy this weekend because of how hectic the week was and how bad next week is going to be, sigh), but i am enjoying burning through Bill's filmography at record speed, feeding my inner fangirl's insatiable appetite for lust. Yes.

in between real life:

DEAR WENDY: he was barely in it and I really didn't get the movie. Meh.

RUTHLESS PEOPLE: He was the stupidest person on earth. With bad hair. Meh.

BRAIN DEAD (1989): ha ha ha now that was a funny flick. Okay, probably not meant to be funny, but meant to be like some episode from the Twilight Zone - in fact, i think its based on one of the old scripts that never got made into an episode... Good shit. I laughed. Probably wasn't supposed to, seeing as it was supposed to be a serious movie, but when the main character in a voiceover says at the end, after he's dead 'Oh, look I'm dead. This will be interesting...', then i HAVE to laugh. Oh and the fakey open brains - reminded me of the cranial screw-top method from Dr Hfuhruhurr... Tee hee.

Bill was *sexay* with dark hair and nerd glasses in 1989. I would fuck him, yes. Desperately. (points to icon)

I took a few screenshots, especially of that scene. Anyone who knows me and has seen the trailer on Youtube will know which scene I am referring to - its the scene that i remember when i first watched this lump of cheddar a decade ago. Yes. Worth buying the whole damn DVD for. (ask me and I might icon it. or at least I might tell you what i'm talking about)...

Otherwise, it was pure B-movie swiss, though. Which is surprising because he hasn't made too many of those in his career, that I know of. I mean a REAL ED WOOD-FLAVOURED B MOVIE, not just a box office flop.

REVELATIONS (2005): a 6 part miniseries about the end of days. I'm only up to part 3. But as i'm a quasi-christian myself, it seems like pretty good stuff, believe it or not. I hope the end sees it through. Bill is still sexay, even if he has gotten a bit old, and i still want his body.  edited: the end saw it through - that was bloody marvellous. Wow. I still have goosebumps.

The difference between how he looked in Zero Effect (1998) and Revelations (2005) is pretty dramatic. Age caught up with him quickly, and the little pot belly and saggy chin skin he has is a testament to that.

I'd still have him, yes. Deeply and desperately.

I have the DVD, so i have lots of very big screenshots. *fangirlgasm*  - I can tell i'm gonna wear out my DVD of this one.

I just LUB the abuse he takes in this film. Of all the films he's done (that I've seen, and i'm getting there on most of them!), this [and less so Lost Highway] are the best for Bill!torture/angst. Yes.

Poor scrotum. Poor forehead. LOVED HIM TIED TO THE CHAIR.

It also looked to me that though he had a stuntman do some things for him, some of the fighting etc, he clearly did a number of physical things in this film himself - falling down stairs and such. Woof.

And Bill shirtless.... *swoon* That man was/is so gorgeous. Nice and skinny, but still completely ripped in my book. Yum.

The plot is okay, I guess. I mean, isnt there a MacGyver episode that's pretty much the same story? Haiti/Little Haiti, and tetrodotoxin / paralysis / zombies, makes it out alive with the girl, etc etc. Still, this was plenty violent and exquisitely torturesque, much more so than MacGyver was, lol. Whee.

Yes to the Bill!torture. More more more! Thanks mooncove, everyone, for the rec!

*dies a fangirly wet dream death now*  - I made icons. :D

The Last Leprechaun - obviously done just to pay the bills and keep the daughter/son in LL Bean and Tretorns and Guess jeans or whatever kids wore in those days...

My god, the cheese! Sheer hilarity, yes. No wonder it was a Daily Mail freebie DVD.

But David was beautiful, I'll give him that. A very beautiful ham, in full ham mode.

And his eyes blazing blue. Sometimes they're hard to see because the celluloid has lost its colour over time like the Omen, blending into the greens and oranges of the time. Or sometimes they're really just difficult to see. But this time? Oh no.

Utterly gorgeous, he is, yes. If anyone wants screencaps, I dont mind!

I got a VHS copy of The Man With Two Brains (1983) at Oxfam today, for 99p.

God i love charity shops. There are 9 up my local high street, and I love going there while pumpkin's in nursery school.

And i ♥ watching David Warner on my tv instead of my pc.