is it a kind of dream?

So, MIL came over and watched R for about 30 minutes so i could get an earlier bus, to get an earlier train. I got to Stratford at about 17.22pm. I found my way to Adelphi Guest House easily enough, its about 7 minutes walk (for the 33wk pregnant lady) from the station. Lovely people, i paid cash, they gave me keys. I was drenched in sweat so had to do something about being wringing wet.

I got dressed, ate some sandwiches i had bought at Boots in New St on the way there, painted my face and changed, and generally freshened up. Left Adelphi at about 6.45pm, to walk there - i had remembered my way around, funnily enough, and knew that Adelphi was situated about ten minutes' walk from the Courtyard.

Got there in time to pee, and get my seat. Show started at 19.15 prompt. The seats are narrow (or my arse has gotten bigger, i think its both!) and there's no place to put your arms, no armrests, so i had to drape them overtop Bethany, which did not make her happy at all. With every loud crash, boom and bang or shout, she kicked or punched me - don't blame her really, but made for a very uncomfortable me - no place to put my arms, kid sitting on my bladder, ankles swelling with every passing moment, not even enough room to sit on one foot to help keep it 'elevated' :/

So the interval was at 21.15, for 20 minutes. I spent 15 of that in a queue for the loo. No one had ANY sympathy for my cankles or the fact that i was busting with someone sitting ON my bladder, but, that's how it goes. I peed, bought a bottle of water and ate a brownie i had stashed in my bag. In fact, i was so rushed, i was eating it while i walked back to my seat. Interval needs to be longer, or more loos when there's a full house / not a seat to spare.

Show ended at 22:50 i think, or so. I didnt really notice the clock. I again had to PEE! so had to miss some of the autographing / getting a place in that queue, because i was again in the queue for the john.

David went out the back to the 'stage door' as it is euphamistically called, as did Patrick. They were fucking *MOBBED* - it was like a paparazzi scene swarming over Britney Spears with her bits hanging out of a dress again. Not a chance of hell of me seeing them, or begging for an autograph. I was pushed, almost knocked over, people kept ramming into my belly, just to see David. I stood back, there was no point in even trying. They signed about 3 autographs, and then disappeared - do you blame them?

Me and a few others thought we might wait round to see if the actors came out later, so i waited til midnight, but there must be a third door they all escaped through, because they were locking the building, and it was pissing rain when i left. Short ten minute walk back to my room, drenched by time i got back for hte night. I made my obligatory hot choc, settled down and dropped off quickly despite having ankles the size of TREE TRUNKS.

So. Hamlet itself:

I thought David pulled on several performances to make his Hamlet. His accent was all over the place - from RP to Estuary to Glasgow. I heard it all. I saw the Doctor several times especially in how he said 'well' and 'but', I saw the lunacy of Taking over the Asylum, a bit of the hard bastard in Secret Smile, and definitely saw something new at the same time. Perhaps I was looking too hard. I dunno - i wasn't *that* impressed. He is a slip of a man, i'd say he wears a 30 waist in trousers. There isnt much to him - tv adds 2 stone at least.

Patrick had 2 roles and I thought he did both very well, but unfortunately, there wasn't that much for him to do as either one. What emotions he had to show, he did well. He makes everything seem so majestic, like a king were speaking. He didn't have to shout to command your attention, like some of the other actors did, he was more soft spoken, and his accent crystal clear (not tainted after all those years in LA making Trek movies). And he's still sex on legs, to boot. He brought such an air to the whole thing, it was breathtaking. If i were to pick one over the other, i'd choose Patrick every time.

The play itself: I thought it went on too long. lol. Not just because of my bladder, but because by time the interval came, i was DYING to get out of my chair and go do something. I was almost *bored* - like a child really. My attention span had been stretched by the almost complete lack of scenery or props, and monologue after monologue, i thought they should've DONE more and TALKED less. Pages and pages, reams and reams of Shakespearean exposition (thees and thous and all that crap) and nil action. Perhaps i'm spoiled to Henry IV, as that's the only other performance i've seen there, but they had sword fights and people climbing down from the ceiling and exploding bags of blood all over your lap... ;)

The ending was foist upon me all of a sudden, i thought - the plot to spar with Hamlet and kill him was confusing and it was unclear as to why Laertes would want to and agree to do such a thing, or indeed why his relationship would be soured with Hamlet to begin with, except the bit with Ophelia's grave. In fact, i didnt know who the fuck he was supposed to be until i heard someone say they were brothers. And who Ophelia was to them, i was also unclear on - why Laertes called her sister but Hamlet wanted to shag her. It was unclear to those of us on the far side of the stage who Hamlet shot with his gun after yelling at his mother and then climbing in her lap for a cuddle - apparently it was Ophelia's dad, the funny politician guy who comically droned on and on, but we couldn't even see a body, let alone which one it was.  Though the men in the audience enjoyed Ophelia stripping down to her pants and bra, i'm sure - she was a gorgeous young lady. 

So, rocks fall and everyone dies - Gertrude of poison, Claudius of poison, Hamlet and Laertes of sword swipes to the neck. And that bit happened in like 20 minutes, when the play was 3 hrs, 30 minutes long!

IMHO it needs less talk, more action. And i've never ever thought of myself as a person with a short attention span, or easily bored. Hell, i enjoyed Henry IV so much, even when David Warner wasn't there, it was still a brilliant play where i could understand what was happening, even if i couldn't recall ever having read the play beforehand or knowing the plot before watching it. This one however, you REALLY needed to have read the book, it seems.

Still, i had a most enjoyable time, except one quibble with Adelphi - they only serve brekky starting at 8am. Their excuse? They don't get a day off, so they're not getting up early. Thanks a LOT. Umm, hello, my husband was on kid duty and my train departed at 7.23. I didnt get to eat, even though i paid for it - Bed and BREAKFAST :/

Incidentally i was up at 5.40, unable to sleep any more, and i got a shower and walked down to McDs to get mcBreakfast and still got to the train station in plenty of time to get back home by 9. But still. Brekky might've been nice, i fucking well paid for it!

My ankles were normal size this morning, YAY. I have kidneys of STEEL. They're swollen again now from all the walking to McDs, to the train statin, and various bits of walking to get home this morning, but man am i glad to be here.

So that's my thoughts, experience, and everything, of Hamlet. Worth seeing, if only to see the two men in their glory - they were clearly enjoying themselves.